I don’t believe you can answer that question generically. Some people labor and struggle with that decision for years. For others, there’s a precipitating event after which they know there’s no turning back. The decision to end a marriage is a unique situation for every person, every couple. I’ve sat with clients who have second guessed themselves and agonized over the decision. I’ve also talked to clients who said, “I can’t believe it took me this long to get here. I should have done this years ago.”
I remind clients that, “You should never, ever berate or second guess yourself for putting forth effort to try and to save a relationship. By the same token, you should honor yourself when you’re able to listen to your inner voice that says, “it is time for me to move forward in a different direction. This marriage has to end so that I can move forward.”
No one should be pushed into such monumental decision by friends, family, or anyone, and, certainly, never by an attorney. For some, the religious, spiritual, or the familial implications of a divorce are of great concern. If clients are given the information that they need, by legal counsel, mental health counselors, and often by their religious leaders, they can usually eventually discern what is the best path forward for themselves and their families.